October 11

Do you ever wonder just what the heck is going on? Wonder what happened in life that started you down the path you’re on. Living in the past. Torturing yourself with all kinds of unanswerable questions. Then there are the times that are vague and you can’t exactly remember what happened or what changed inside. Its hard to remember the beauty. Then the doubts come, the weakness. Why go on in the same way repeating the same mistakes over and over. We fall back into the same ruts, the same bad habits. Al of it so we just don’t have to face some truth. So we don’t have to make that commitment. So we don’t have to make the hard decision or take that one step or action. How weak are we all that we seem to cherish that lack of action, the lack of free will.

Of course some people might suggest that this lack of actionis the pinnacle of free will, the ultimate self-expression. I suppose this could indeed be the case. Lack of action could be the greatest self-sacrifice, but how often is that the case? Is it not also possible that these same people could be deluding themselves? Saying to themselves, ‘Oh there isn’t anything I can do… oh poor , poor me’. It almost seems that this would, more often than not, be the case. Then of course there is motivation. What motivates a person? Wealth, power, beauty? Religion? Are we all sheep to follow others plans? No choices of our own to make? I find that hard to believe. The question, for those who would make the choice to follow, then becomes is this person or cause worth my allegiance? My fidelity? My trust?

Should we quantify how our contribution aids a cause or should we perhaps simply blindly follow? I find it hard in this day and age to take anything at face value. To blindly jump in and devote all. Does the lack of trust come from self-doubt? Lack of confidence? Unwillingness to learn? Does lack of self-knowledge hold us all back from finding the truth of the world or even everyday situations? If we don’t understand ourselves, how can we hope to understand the world we live in? The fact that we may not like the truth in ourselves should never stop us from trying to discover it.

Through the exploration of our own selves do we not gain more experience? More knowledge of self? Perhaps the truth is not savory, but a necessary evil. If indeed self knowledge can be termed as evil. Are people inherently evil? Perhaps it isn’t the person that is evil, but their actions that we find evil. Is it this thought of ‘moral fiber’? The thought that some people are better than others. I guess each person will have to discover that themselves.